Monday, 17 February 2014

 What would BeyoncĂ© do? 

“What is your aspiration in life? My aspiration in life is to be happy”

There is something so crippling about not being able to express yourself… not being able to be you. Losing someone you love makes you think hard and reflect back on all the things you could have done, said and shown that person. You realise your flaws, you realise you made mistakes but most importantly you learn and you challenge the things you did wrong. The growth and the journey through life makes us the people we are, makes me the person I am. It’s not healthy to expect perfection because the reality is that it doesn’t exist. I’ve learned that I don’t want to never be satisfied. It’s not a healthy way to live. Setting the bar to what you expect and raising it more and more each time is chasing an impossible dream. I realise now that life is what you make it, not what you expect it to be like. There has to be balance and that is a constant struggle. Balance in life, in your relationships, in your work. Happiness is not about dedicating yourself to one part of your life, one person. It is about knowing who you are, accepting yourself, flaws and all, fighting for what you want out of life and most importantly, living it.

“I’ve set myself a goal, and that goal is independence”

Looking back I lost the independent woman I’d grown up being because I enjoyed the feeling of having someone there who I could trust to depend on. And that mistake I hope to learn from. I fought so hard to be where I am today, determined to make it on my own and have my independence. I had faith in myself that I would get through all the challenges and obstacles that life throws at us. Then I fell in love and I realised how much easier life could be when you had someone there to share it with. Someone who could fight your corner, support you, someone you could rely on and I got too comfortable with that. I took advantage, my biggest regret and lost sight of myself. It is only now I realise that I lost the fighter in me who doesn’t need to rely on anyone but myself to make me happy. I lost who I was because I thought I needed someone else to live my life. I thought I needed someone else to make me happy but when you look at your life there are relationships, jobs, experiences that all make up the dots but it’s you who holds the cards, the choices on how you live it. Only you can make you happy.

“Life is but a dream”                
Hindsight is a beautiful thing. The best thing about looking back is realising how incredible life is and if you don’t take time to think about it and appreciate it, you’ll never really live it. You’ll never realise that all the dots are connected and that each day makes up a tiny part of you and your journey through life. Life never turns out how we expect it to be and that is why instead of expecting we should be living. Each day teaches us something different. We learn and we grow. We experience the bad and the good but knowing ourselves and knowing that we are all we need in life is a power that keeps us strong.  Life is unpredictable and you never know what is coming next but I do know that I’m ready for it. I’m stronger, I’m wiser, I am myself.

We are all playing a part in a much greater show and that’s what life is… it’s the greatest show on earth.

Thursday, 31 October 2013

The Real Prince Charming

One of the most common dreams of any eight year old girl is to one day find her Prince Charming. Us girls grow up dressing our Barbie dolls in wedding dresses, making wedding gowns out of white plastic bags and running around with pillow cases on our heads but at that age we don’t really know what love is other than we are destined to hopefully find it one day.

  We grow up and we learn what components make up our perfect partners. We go on bad dates and good ones trying to figure out what they should look like and what they should be like as a person. Are they your Danny Zuko bad boy or the charmingly indulgent Chuck Bass’ of the world? Are they hotter than Brad Pitt or a true romantic like The Notebook's Noah? Dating is like an experiment where we probe and test a person’s qualities in the hope of finding our one true match, our validity to our original hypothesis.  And just when we think we know what we are looking for we meet someone who blows that image of the perfect man to a whole new dimension.

  I’ve learned that perfection is probably the only word in the dictionary which is defined by its antonym. As a concept perfection doesn’t seem to exist until the moment you love the flaws of someone just as much as the ideals which that person fulfills. I’m lucky enough to have found that perfect person who knocks all those Disney Princes out of their kingdoms.

  Some might say it's cheesy and I do occasionally cringe to myself at how soft I sound but I find it mind-boggling how the image of Disney's Prince Charming and of relationships in general has taught me nothing of reality. Like most girls, I imagined castles, crowns, fairy tales and this princess lifestyle but reality is far from that. In fact, I believe it is better. Obviously, I would love to live in a castle like I'm sure most of us would but love shouldn't be about the things that come with it. I've learned it is simply about the word love itself. It is about the happiness that person brings you, the special feeling you get when they're around and the fulfillment you feel in knowing that person is far better than any material Prince Charming you could have imagined.

You know you’ve found that person when you wake up feeling lucky. Lucky that you have found someone who really cares about you and respects you, who holds your hand when you’re scared or sick and who encourages you to pursue your dreams, that you love for all that they are and want to support through anything which life may throw their way… a best friend, a loving partner, the real Prince Charming.*